Diet Plan of the Month

When Just Desserts last visited the Heart Attack Grill (January 2007 issue), we noted the Chandler, AZ, restaurant's madcap flaunting of mainstream nutritional advice. Its menu includes Single-, Double-, Triple- and Quadruple-Bypass burgers (the numbers corresponding to the number of half-pound beef patties each has) and Flatline Fries (made in “pure lard,” and available along with topping choices like cheese sauce from the endless fries bar). Heck, they even have (filterless) cigarettes on the menu. The eatery's motto is “Taste Worth Dying For.”

So, how to top that? Definitely a challenge, but they may have done it with a recently unveiled internet video (seen on the restaurant website at www.heartattackgrill.com as well as at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p6E5pfJEROA). The star of the video is Blair River, a 6'8”, 600-lb. satisfied customer who brags about his “steady weight gain” since he began patronizing Heart Attack Grill regularly.

There is also a word from owner Jon Basso (a former nutritionist and Jenny Craig franchisee who has decided to turn to evil) touting the Bypass Burgers and Flatliner Fries (“along with a cold beer and cigarette, it's a diet program you can stick to for life”). The capper is a hilarious series of disclaimers (“Side effects may include sudden weight gain, repeated increase of wardrobe size…”).

Of course, there may be a self-serving reason why River likes the Heart Attack Grill — the eatery lets anyone over 350 lbs. eat for free…